Monthly Archives: September 2014

Musical Muse Monday (Post)

fear

Discerning the Dark

 (Song: Soundtrack Original to Halloween, the movie)

Fear is what makes us alive. It’s the one emotion that no one admits to desiring and yet when it arrives on your doorstep, its welcomed with a shudder and calloused relief. The belief that we want to live forever is a façade when truly we all yearn to peek into the black abyss of death. The unknown is only a matter of objective theory and when we journey deeper into its twisted path of promise, we feel emotions we’d never felt. Lust, love and sadness are fleeting… but fear, fear has the guarantee of addiction that ensures continuation deep into the darkness of the night.

I once believed that the world was a good place, that things that passed on to the next world didn’t linger, but my eyes were opened and the veil was torn with the death of my father. The icy cold whisper of death swept through my young life and exposed me to a world that threatens to destroy innocence and beckons me to a release of reality. I used to fear death, but now… knowing what I do. I welcome it.

What is your fear? Everyone holds them close to their bosom and some even try to turn and face them, to conquer if you will. But what if you’re afraid of that which is intangible and untouchable? Maybe running from that fear that holds me so tightly is my only choice, for I fear the unknown and it controls me. It reaches into my waking world and redirects my goals, my hopes – my future. It finds delight in slipping into my dreams and choking me, promising release if I will just succumb to its dark caress. I cannot win, though I know the demon I fight.

For today, perhaps I’ll just run and pray that it doesn’t catch up.

**Picture from http://42stillnoclue.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/8-brain-fear.jpg

Musical Muse Monday (Song Info)

Good Morning!

It’s almost Halloween, and I’m in a spooky mood already. Our song selection for today’s Musical Muse Monday is Halloween Original Theme Music. *shivers*

Check out instructions on my Musical Muse Monday page if you need to!!

Drop me a comment, poem, short story, scene, sentence – whatever.

L.

First Book Signing!!

Book Signing

So Friday I had a great opportunity to join my hubby at his Intermediate school for a book signing event with the teachers over their lunch break. I picked up a box of 25 books to take with me in case anyone wanted to purchase a copy. The best way to make back any money that I’ve invested has to come from getting the books myself and selling them at a live event. My mathematics worked out perfectly. I sold all 25 and had enough residual income to fund the homecoming weekend at my house!

So I thought it would be a little odd talking with people about the book or just trying to interact with a bunch of people that I didn’t know, but you know what I found out? It wasn’t odd at all. I love my love and my characters and had a great time telling people that approached me about them. I joked with everyone that came up and just allowed myself to be excited about sharing with each of them something that I created. It was a great hour and a half and I’m now looking uber forward to going to Austin next month for the Teen Festival.

My cover reveal is on Wednesday this next week, which I’ll post up here. If any of you are interested in hosting it with me, please e-mail me at laurie.Starkey@att.net and I’ll shoot you a copy of the cover for Wednesday’s reveal!!

So in the end the book signing thing was a total win and I got 25 more copies of my book in the hands of teachers that interact with the kiddos that I’d love to reach. Great event, great interaction and I’m actually way more comfortable talking with any and everyone than I thought I would be. 🙂

L.

Time, my most beloved Nemesis

time

There is simply not enough time in the day to accomplish all that I’d like to accomplish. People say that we make time for that which matters most to us, but to them I reply, “Hush.”

There must be a lot that matters to me, because time has always been and will always be my most beloved Nemesis. Some part of me wants to write a book and have the villain be Jonathan Sixoclock just to poke fun at that which I cannot conquer.

The day starts at 5:30 a.m. – which is so horrendously ridiculous (sounded like a lucky charms commercial). I drop off children who sleep as we ride or mess with my radio and introduce me to songs that make me grateful that my teenage years are over. Working all day long is a bit taxing, especially because I find myself running from meeting to meeting for nine hours, all the while thinking of my next novel, or a great character I could make out of the various people I interact with all day. It’s almost disturbing to be inside my head.

I pick up kiddos after work and run by to see my parents most days, namely because my mother is the best southern cook in the universe and my father is a bowl full of jokes. Getting home fourteen hours after I left, I try to talk myself into exercising, all the while thinking of how to properly write a query letter and which logo to choose for my bookkeeping company that I’m in the midst of starting.

I consider reading because honestly, what is better than reading? Really… nothing. After assisting with math homework and writing a to-do list for my handsome hubby, I usually sit down to start plugging away at my latest novel or editing something for future production. I find lately that twitter has become an addiction and it seemingly joins the side of time in stealing precious moments that could move me closer to my dream of writing all day and eating bon-bons all night. Or something along those lines. I fall into bed exhausting just before realizing that I need to set the clock – for 5:30 a.m.

Time,

Why do you run from me, make fun of me and poke at me with subtle reminders that you’re a fair-weather friend? Why do you creep by in the most uncomfortable and awkward of situations and race away in the most exhilarating? Why do you steal my youth and my memories and make me wish at times you’d do more of both?

It’s time that we break up, me and you. It’s me, not you.

L.

Picture from http://www.edudemic.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/time.jpg

Musical Muse Monday (Post!)

Edge of the World

Living a Life Worth it.

(Song: OneRepublic – Counting Stars)

I made it to the top of the mountain – the peak, and I closed my eyes, filling up my lungs with the clean fresh air. I had decisions to make and my heart palpated as I walked close to the edge of the cliff I’d just climbed.

I pulled off my shoes and socks, my shirt and shorts – wanting to feel the wind on my skin – I was alone – free to be me.

Lately I’d been losing sleep, dreaming about the things that we could be.

I felt like a lion and a lamb, quiet and reserved, vicious and loud. I chuckled under my breath. He thought he’d broken me, that he’d won, but the irony was spent on him. He’d never know, and that was okay. Reserved victory is still victory.

The sharpness of the rocks beneath my feet should be painful, but I am numb to the demands of my flesh. My heart is soaring and breaking in conjunction. I make it to the edge of the cliff and turn ninety degrees, and I began to walk on the very edge of the mountain. Hope used to be my four letter word.

To my left is the grassy top of the formation, welcoming, warm, inviting – safe. To my right is the jagged cliff and it’s promise of sweet release. It’s whispers talk of carnal pleasures, explosive joy… danger. I shiver at the thought of falling into it’s delicious trap one minutes and laugh deep in my chest the next. I feel something so wrong doing the right thing. I could lie, but the truth was that everything that kills me makes me feel alive in that moment.

My right foot dips to skim the outside of the cliff, cutting my foot. The color infiltrating my senses. I stop and back up from the cliff, clinging to the only reality I know – the safe one.

But love and mystery and rebellion scream at me to come and not walk along the edge but to jump, jump into the unknown and take life for the ride it was intended to be. The two parts of my soul fight for dominion; safe or free? Which life will I chose?

I see his face, I hear his voice, I feel his touch. The warmth of his breath rushing to surround my nakedness and I release myself to him. He is what I know. He’s what’s safe. And then she awakens and I growl in my chest, waking up to the alarming reality of the situation. He wasn’t what he appeared to be – oh he was so good – almost good enough to forget his transgressions, but no… no, he’s not a risk worth taking.

But drowning in the dance floor, letting my soul dance to the music, sweating with a million others, finding a new lover, starting a movement, being a rebel and daring fate to press against me – those are risks worth taking. There will be hundreds of men in my life, but only one me, only one time to take this risk.

I smile, content and pull myself up, flinging my arms wide, loving the way I feel, the way I look… Beautiful and unashamed of who I’ve been and who I plan to be. I don’t walk, but run to the edge of life and I fling myself off the ledge and dive into a world of possibilities.

I will be the love of someone’s life. I will sing and dance and create with the light and dark passions in my heart. I will share my soul and my wealth with those that are in need and I will dance naked and unashamed in the rain as it washes me clean.

That’s a risk worth taking. To live a life unbound. To endlessly count the stars and never apologize for looking up.

That’s the choice I make – what about you?

L.

Picture from : beachy-head-chalk-cliff-in-southern-england-nicknamed-edge-of-the-world–18606

Musical Muse Monday (Song Info)

Good Morning!

Where are my creative friends to join me? I’m going to have to go out and actively scout, am I? 🙂 I hope you’re at home still tucked into your bed and I hate you if you are!!! Love/hate type-a thing.

Our song selection for today’s Musical Muse Monday is honestly my favorite song right now… OneRepublic’s Counting Stars.

Check out instructions on my Musical Muse Monday page if you need to!!

Drop me a comment, poem, short story, scene, sentence – whatever.

L.

WIP: My next story – Vamps and Wolfs

Resounding

September 5, 1830
Greenwich, England
Council of Shadows

The sun had started to set behind the edge of the earth, the cool breeze of autumn throwing dandelion’s into the air as if decorating the moment perfectly for them. England had yet to see the true effects of winter, summer hanging on with consorted effort and pressing with sustained might to keep the air temperature most pleasant. That evening would began a three night council meeting where the shadow walkers would join together to discern issues common to them and try to work through various agreements and concordances with one another. It was assured to be filled with tension and bickering, but Seraphine had been in the center of the circle for a very long stay and cared not what was presented or in what manner, only that it was discussed and a decision was made.

Her mind was far from the cold circular room that the meeting would be in as everything was set perfectly and ready for nightfall to arrive. She stood in the shadows of a watch tower with the sun hidden behind her and the man she loved in her arms. It was forbidden and though she wished that she could find the strength to let him go, she could not and would rather give up her position and title than allow the council to step between the two of them. He smiled at her, the warmth of his welcome, the strength in his embrace could not leave her without returning the gesture. So many years she’d lived for vengeance and retribution and found love a weakness to exploit in others, but to never take it into her own bosom.

Things drastically changed more than a century ago when she was assigned to work along side the next Alpha male from the council to discern the propagation of the church and the success they’d held thus far in expansion. The task was most challenging and the two had to work closely together, their relationship at first quite hostile and unyielding. It wasn’t until she was in grave danger one night, surrounded by a large group of hunters that he risked himself to save her and through his bravery they both escaped. The resounding effects of his willingness to sacrifice himself took them to a place she never imagined and one that would have them tried my the council and killed. She looked into the warm chocolate colored gaze that continued to focus on nothing but her as her fingers ran along the soft skin on his shoulder, the muscles so beautiful and on display for her pleasure.

“What is it that takes you from me, Sera? You are not in this moment from me, my love.” He pulled her tighter, the nakedness of their bodies tugging at a hunger that lay in the core of her being. She let her eyes drift along his strong features, memorizing each one as if she could feel the plague of loss hanging tightly overhead.

“I am just concerned that we will not be able to keep confidences. Tonight the council will meet and after your coronation to Alpha you will hold the chair for your pack. To have us both holding a chair almost gives us a majority run of the group and I’d not want anyone to ever think that we worked together to gain some nefarious advantage. I live for my people and I die for them as well.” She bit at her lip, long chestnut hair danced around them as the wind chilled his skin and left her wanting to comfort him. Their afternoon of love making was never enough for her and she waited for these meetings to see him again. To meet up outside of England was too dangerous and so they lived lives that were split in two, both of them almost sick with not having the other by their side.

“No one will ever know, Sera. It is our secret to take to the grave. Come now… let us not waste our time worrying. Hush and let me enjoy you.” He smiled and she couldn’t help but smirk at him. His arms tightened and pulled her into a compressed embrace, a large hand sliding into her hair and beckoning her rest her had against his shoulder as he caressed her. She let all thought dissipate and closed her eyes, the smell of his skin divine and earthy, the strength of his body perfect and comforting. Her soft crimson lips brushed along his shoulder as he made a small sound of appreciation and the rest of the afternoon was lost to the desires one the other.

It wasn’t until later than evening that Seraphine discovered the small golden locket in the pocket of her black slacks, her fingers twirling around the cold metal for a moment before realizing that something was out of place. She pulled it up as she headed toward the council room, each species given a separate waiting room where they could meet and discuss their agenda items and strategize or vote for a common cause. She’d invited Walter, Petra and Lucius to join her. Petra would sit on the Winter Council as her second in command and after that each of them would take a turn. She wanted to see them in action before making a decision of that brevity because when she was done, they would take her place as head of the Vampiric Coven.

The light caught the locket as she moved, her long dark hair swaying behind her and no color to be found on her outside of her crimson lips and matching heels. Her silky black top wrapped tightly around her and she knew it was a bold move, but to tease her secret lover with her beauty would make the night go by so much faster. The small golden teardrop hung from a sort chain and inscribed on the back was “forever yours.” She slipped it on before moving into the cold confines of the Vampire Waiting Room, her eyes on the blood wine already prepared and her mind of a handsome wolf that had given her a reason to truly live again.

“Yes baby.. you are,” she whispered and growled softly.

Picture from http://www.anypics.ru/large/201211/37385.jpg

The need to succeed…

key-to-success2

I have always, for as long as I can remember, had this extreme need to succeed, this driving force that pushes me to exhaustion and races me to the next adventure or creation in hopes of finding it – success.

But what is success really? Don’t you think we all define it differently?

In my own mind I’m successful at being a good mom, a good wife, a good worship leader. I’m a great teacher and a strong leader in most areas of my life. I’m a successful CPA for a good sized oil and gas company and I’m a good writer.

As wonderful as those things are, it’s funny how quickly we get wrapped up in our current success. Do you really think anyone else in our lives really defines our success the way we do when we look in the mirror? I’d say I’m only as good as my last successful moment and yet you’d look at me and say I’m an overachiever and quite successful.

I realized today I was doing that again with my writing. How successful I am with it is determined by the number of people I reach and the number of books I sell, but in all reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

I am successful because I poured my heart out on paper and it ACTUALLY made sense. 🙂 Because I pushed to get the story in reader format and learned a million things along the way. Because my family all has a copy of the novel on their shelves and are proud of me for marking something off my bucket list. Because I love writing and effectively telling stories.

I don’t think wanting to be successful is a bad thing at all. I just think we have to be careful by whose terms we define that success, especially if they are our own and move us into a place of not acknowledging all that we’ve done thus far.

The need to succeed is alive and well and at times can leave us frantic. Perhaps in those moments its best to pause and reflect on all that we’ve done and how it’s made us who we are today. Then… tomorrow we jump back onto the race of life in hopes of grandeur. 🙂

L.

Picture: http://www.audreyreille.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/key-to-success2.jpg

The Key is Confidence or is it?

passion

How quick are you to react to someone that’s confident in whatever they’re selling? Is it confidence really or perhaps passion? Maybe its a mix of both?

There is something quite contagious about a confident passionate person, isn’t there? I run into very few people like this, but when I do, I find myself wanting to follow and spend a few minutes in the warm glow of whatever they have running through their veins.

I was thinking how depressing it is to only sell one or two of my books a day and then my AWESOME husband reminded me that I’m a successful CPA with several other businesses in the works. I didn’t write my book to sell it. This has nothing at all to do with money, but acceptance perhaps.I wrote them because I’m passionate to the point of vomiting color wherever I go. I needed an outlet – not your typical accountant to say the least.

I wrote it to release passion into a world that didn’t exist and create characters that I’d love to know and showcase as part of who I am in my heart. So if it wasn’t to sell, then it’s pretty cool that it has sold. I’m up to 80 copies or so from Amazon in the last two weeks and considering that all I wanted to do was write for me, that’s not too shabby.

So I’m confident that the next book will do better than this one, and the one after that even better. Why? Because I’m overtly passionate about my books to the point of talking to everyone about them. Are you passionate about what you’ve created? Do you want to desperately share it with someone?

Then do it – with confidence. Let that passion show and people will grab onto it and hover above it like a fire on a winter’s night. The world says, “no” and “go away” and “we’re not buying what you’re selling.”

Well you know what? The world is simply missing out. Share with confident passion and invite us in.

L.

**Picture from http://www.freespiritsunited.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/passion.jpg